Calling vs. Texting

 

After you get someone's number, should you call or text? Thomas and Laurie give tips on when both are appropriate.

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Comments

[Ben]

Laurie - are there any rules of thumb about the "I had a lovely time" text. How long after the meet-up, and does it depend on how long the date was/how good the date was?

[Ross Felix]

Ben:

Personally, I think of more as something to be used for "information" not to further a relationship. If you had a good date, the idea is that you'd like to go out again. Sending a text, while polite that you're acknowledging you had a good time, also could close the door more easily on you if she's on the fence.

If you're interested in her -- just call her the next day or at the latest the day after. Also, don't leave her in the dark. When you make that call, schedule the next date. If you just call to say "thanks" and don't schedule a second date, you'll leave her wondering if you're really interested.

As the woman though, sending a text the next day to say that she had a good time can be a) really polite and b) helps the nervous / shy guy -- as he now knows she'd be open to a second date. If you receive that text from her, follow it up with a phone call saying you'd like to see her. If you're not interested though, please be polite. You're welcome to reply back by text "It was nice meeting you but don't think we're a good match" or something to that effect.

In general, texting while dating can cause trouble -- since it's VERY easy for someone to close the door on a text as opposed to a phone call.

[Laurie Davis]

Hey Ben,

Here's my take: A text can be cute if you do it soon thereafter - within hours. But then you still need to CALL to set up the next date. Don't text her expecting that she'll respond or to ask her out again, just do it to let her know that you had a great time. Happy eFlirting!

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